Always in My Way
by Miss Pataki
Summary: "She's a fragile girl. Skin like porcelain. Shame on you if you hurt her. She's adorable, oh-so vulnerable. I wish that somebody would drop her..."


"Always in My Way" by Miss Pataki

A song fic based on "Jennifer" by M2M

A/N: Okay, so it's not about anyone named Jennifer, but I'm sure if you've heard the song, you know who Jennifer is replaced with. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! or the song "Jennifer" or M2M.  But wouldn't it be cool if I did?

--

          Ten-year old Helga G. Pataki sat alone at the top of the jungle gym, observing her peers enjoying their recess.  Everywhere kids scampered here and there, running and playing.  Everyone had been glad to get back to school after a long, long summer and all that "Scheck's tearing down the neighborhood" crap.  Helga's eyes zeroed in on one student.  A girl in particular.

          "Lila," she muttered.  The red-haired girl sat at one of the picnic tables, telling yet another lame joke.  Helga faintly heard the punch line as everyone around Lila erupted into laughter.  Most of the guys stared at her, goofy smiles on their faces.  Helga scowled.  "Look at those morons, going ga-ga over some stupid, shallow little princess…"

_She's so beautiful.  She is super nice.  Everybody says she's special._

          As Helga watched all the students chattering with Lila, Mr. Simmons came walking over to the table.

          "Lila, here's your Geography test from yesterday.  Congratulations!  You got every question right.  I'm so proud of you!  It's wonderful to know that you've made such a special mark in my class," he told her.  Everyone clapped for her.  Lila just blushed and shot her best saccharine-sweet smile.

          "Why, thank you just ever so much," she said.  "I would never have done well if you weren't such an oh-so wonderful teacher, Mr. Simmons."  
          Mr. Simmons smiled.  "Thank you, Lila.  That was an awfully nice thing to say."

_She is wonderful, unbelievable, sweet.  I guess she is perfect._

          A scowl on her face, Helga made her way down from her perch.  When her feet touched the ground, she turned around to face the table.  Her Arnold, her beloved, appeared to be engaged in a deep conversation with Lila.  Helga fumed.  Way back at the beginning of the year, he'd told everyone he didn't like like her anymore.  When no one believed him, he'd insisted he only liked her.  But the way he looked at her with a serious look in his eyes, Helga had a feeling he had been lying.

_Stop saying she's just a friend, just a friend.  Keep hearing her name again, name again._

          Helga kicked a lone Yahoo soda can across the black top as she made her way back into the hall.  Sure, she and Arnold weren't great friends, but he'd been making an even greater effort to reach out to her ever since she told him everything over the summer.  She still called him football head, but it wasn't just an insult anymore.  And instead of spitballs, they now shot notes back and forth.  Helga was particularly fond of the situation.  It allowed her to actually spend time with Arnold without compromising with her true self very much.  The situation worked for a few weeks until Arnold started spending all his time with Lila again.  He was always talking to her at lunch, passing notes with her.  It made Helga sick and sad.  They were getting along for once and then he decides to hang out with Lila again.  Worse, every few days after spending a week hanging on Lila, he'd come back to Helga, asking her if she wanted to do something.  So Helga had done what she did best.  She hid her feelings and insulted him, hoping maybe he'd figure it out.

_I really have to say she's always in my way.  I can't believe how much you love her.  How can I make you see it's either her or me?  I will never be like Jennifer._

          Helga slumped down on the floor against the locker.  It wasn't as though it was Lila's fault for being a heartless boy magnet.  However, it wasn't right for her to lead him along like this.

          "As I've told you so many times before, I just like you," Helga mimicked, scowling.  She had to admit.  There was a time when she pitied Lila.  When she first arrived in Hillwood, she and the other girls had done everything in their power to degrade Lila through all the pranks they could think of.  Every one seemed to backfire until one day at lunch they took it too far.  Lila hadn't come back to school the next day so all the fourth grade girls went over to her house to deliver Lila's homework to her.  They'd made a startling discovery.

          Lila had always been perceived as the Golden Girl, the daughter of some stuck-up rich man like Rhonda's father.  She wore the "cutest" vintage threads and was always curtseying to everyone she met, as though she were in some everlasting ballet performance.  Instead, Lila wasn't far from dirt poor.  Her mother had died when they still had a farm.  With no one left to run it, she and her father moved to Hillwood where he struggled to make ends meet.  Upon seeing how less than perfect Lila really was, they'd all apologized.

_She's a fragile girl, skin like porcelain.  Shame on you if you would hurt her._

          But her nice girl persona was dragged through the mud after the school performance of "Romeo and Juliet."  Lila had snagged the role of Juliet to Arnold's Romeo and of course, Helga couldn't deal with that.  She pleaded for Lila to withdraw and she finally relented when Helga admitted that she loved Arnold.

          "I suppose if you really liked Arnold and wanted to kiss him, well, I guess I'd think it was just ever so sweet," Lila told her.  Helga thought Lila would understand her deep-seated love for Arnold, but if she did, she cared not.  Next day after the play there she was, giggling with him during lunch and sharing a large Yahoo during an after-school showing of "Evil Twin 4."  The angel had descended as soon as she'd made it back into the clouds.  Helga prayed karma would get the best of her.

_She's adorable, oh-so vulnerable.  I wish that somebody would drop her._

          As though karma had ever done a thing for her.  Here she was, still admiring Arnold from afar after seven years.  Every breath she took, she hoped he would look her way for once.  Every morning she woke and wondered if he cared.  Every night she dreamed of only him.  She pined for and worshipped him with all her self and yet he only had eyes for his so-called "friend", Lila.

_Stop saying she's just a friend, just a friend.  Keep hearing her name again, name again._

_          Worst of all, Helga was powerless to stop it.  She had done everything she could since fourth grade to sabotage Lila.  None of the seeds of disaster she had planted seemed to bear fruit.  The most satisfaction she'd got was last summer, when she had tricked Lila into being on the dunk tank during Blockapalooza._

          "Gullible little twit," Helga muttered, chuckling.  "Didn't even realize I don't live in the stupid neighborhood." 

          She remembered back to a week after Lila moved to Hillwood.  She written "Arnold Loves Helga" on the brick wall near school, but changed it to "Lila" before any of her peers saw.  Because of one act of carelessness, Lila decided to start liking Arnold, who then told her he wasn't interested.  However, when Lila told him she only liked him because she thought he liked her, he decided maybe he did like her.  It didn't seem fair.

_I really have to say she's always in my way.  I can't believe how much you love her.  How can I make you see it's either her or me?  I will never be like Jennifer._

          As Helga trudged back to class along with the sea of students once the bell had rung, she thought of a worse instance.  Last year's Cheese Festival was a disaster.  From the spinning rides to the bumper cars to the tunnel of love, every attempted sabotaged blew up in her face.  At the end of the night, Helga stood alone in the fairgrounds, discarded papers and wrappers tumbling at her feet as she gazed at her beloved walking Lila home.  Lila insisted that she still didn't like him like him.

          "But there's hope?" he asked quietly.

          "Oh, yes, Arnold.  Just ever so much hope," Lila told him.

          Helga could hardly resist the urge to cry.

_Stop saying she's just a friend, just a friend.  Keep hearing her name again, name again!_

          Helga shuffled to her seat, ignoring Arnold's smile as she sat down and sighed.  She pulled out her locket and gazed sadly down at her beloved smiling back at her.  She wanted to cry and to scream at the same time. _How can he do that?  How can he look at me with the same compassion?  How can he look at me with the same eyes he looks at Lila with?  It makes me sick.  _

_I really have to say she's always in my way.  I can't believe how much you love her.  How can I make you see it's either her or me?  I will never be like Jennifer._

          She sighed.  Hot tears stung her eyes and cheeks, blurring her vision.  Arnold loved Lila, plain and simple.  Maybe it would change, maybe it wouldn't.  But it didn't matter.  It wasn't as if Helga could do anything about the situation.  For the first time in her life she felt absolutely helpless.

          A note written in Lila's neat printing found its way to her desk.  Helga opened it and read the few sentences within.

          _I know it's seemed a bit rude of me to be spending so much time with __Arnold__ as of late, but it has only worked to your advantage. He's talked about nothing but you.   You may not be…well, me, but the better woman still won.  Good luck, Lila_

_I really have to say she's always in my way.  I can't believe how much you love her.  How can I make you see it's either her or me?  I will never be like Jennifer._

          


End file.
